What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
