Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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