What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
