there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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