Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize