one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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