My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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