Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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