I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
