I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
