dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
