I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
