I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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