Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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