She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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