I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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