The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
