i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
