When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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