Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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