i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
