Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
