then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
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Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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