i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
