I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
