Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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