i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
this will be a night to untag.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
