ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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