I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
These tits shall not be calmed
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
