Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
