walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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