Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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