he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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