So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
