Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
