dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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