We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
