I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
