Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
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