dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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