Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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