Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
