They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
