Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
