im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It's like God shit irony all over that family
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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