I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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