What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
