so explain again why im purple
no
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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