I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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