pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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