Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
