Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize