he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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