dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
