Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head

(770): View more from Georgia

Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I don't remember. Are we still dating?

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(301): View more from Maryland

i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!

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