Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
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i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
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It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.