Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru

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  (515): took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru http://tfl.nu/806s
  Replies (22) Good night (853) Bad night (2549)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion

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  (480): my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion http://tfl.nu/golc
  Replies (263) Good night (3525) Bad night (31426)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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  (503): I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats. http://tfl.nu/4me1
  Replies (32) Good night (1017) Bad night (5385)
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  (619): View more from California

  Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep

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  (619): Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep http://tfl.nu/5i99
  Replies (21) Good night (1176) Bad night (2543)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No promises.

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  (773): Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me (847): No promises. http://tfl.nu/emuw
  Replies (33) Good night (5520) Bad night (959)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.

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  (432): His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex. http://tfl.nu/07s4
  Replies (9) Good night (3496) Bad night (986)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.

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  (917): I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it. http://tfl.nu/n6vl
  Replies (8) Good night (4312) Bad night (827)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Actually, she's fat now, so...

  (817): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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  (817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993
  Replies (27) Good night (1888) Bad night (5024)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school

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  (360): Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school http://tfl.nu/4t6a
  Replies (10) Good night (2281) Bad night (697)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms

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  (847): I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms http://tfl.nu/d1qk
  Replies (5) Good night (1899) Bad night (618)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."

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  (512): We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get." http://tfl.nu/dl94
  Replies (1) Good night (1383) Bad night (443)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.

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  (336): I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand. http://tfl.nu/v7rz
  Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.

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  (727): She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit. http://tfl.nu/846j
  Replies (9) Good night (213) Bad night (921)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...

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  (970): That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever... http://tfl.nu/748q
  Replies (4) Good night (453) Bad night (206)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.

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  (216): I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class. (610): I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class. http://tfl.nu/0ypg
  Replies (0) Good night (851) Bad night (197)

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