She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Drunk is not a location!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
