so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
