dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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