There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
